What makes people tick – The Daily News of Newburyport

At the age of 16, I went to a summer camp in the Berkshires to work as a waiter.

It was my first extended solo trip away from home. Soon after my arrival, I developed a crush on a beautiful girl named Cindy and I began courting her. Much to my dismay, I had a rival for her affections Howard.

One starry night, Cindy agreed to leave the canteen with me and take a walk along the camps lake. This was a big league move for me.

We strolled for a while, enjoyed easy conversation, and then found a couple of rickety Adirondack chairs a few yards from the shoreline. I deftly moved the chairs close together and once seated, our hands met on her armrest.

Just as our fingers started moving rhythmically, I heard the awful sound of Howards voice behind us: Hi Cindy, Hi Richie; what are you all doing down here?

He pranced to a spot directly in front of us and said to Cindy watch this and proceeded to demonstrate his superior athleticism by doing a handstand and a couple of cartwheels. Then, he silently strutted away with a smug smile on his toothy face as if to say, Bet you cant do that, Ross. I could not.

Cindy shrugged her shoulders and declared Howard to be a showoff. Our excursion ended with a quick kiss on my cheek at her cabins door.

Lying in my bunk that night, I thought more about Howards antics than Cindys dry kiss. Was that a stunt performed by an immature, insecure fool with no other means to get Cindys attention?

Or was it a confident move by an athletic guy who knew girls liked that kind of stuff? Either way, that event is what started me thinking about human behavior, and specifically, what makes people tick. I was oblivious until then.

It is often difficult to figure out what motivates a persons behavior. The context often helps but there are always unknown or unknowable factors. Is it an overbearing parent, emotional insecurity, a physical impediment, fear of failure?

In a world where the end justifies the means, it may not matter. In a more reflective world, the answer to the why question is a mapping system for human behavior. Learning about someones motivation to commit a murder or lead a life of crime can be as interesting as knowing what drove Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey to achieve their extraordinary success.

The criminals mind is a detectives workplace and is fascinating as a form of entertainment as evidenced by the plethora of crime dramas on television and in literature. But the forces powering Gates and Winfrey to their heights might serve as inspiration for our achievements or the way we raise our children.

We have all heard of the Napoleonic complex, which is a reference to short men who are some combination of false machismo, domineering social behavior and disproportionate aggression. The theory is that some short men have feelings of insecurity and inferiority resulting from their height that causes them to overcompensate behaviorally.

I had a friend who was a very successful businessman who only cared about making money. He never had or wanted children. No matter how much money he had, it was never enough.

Although I knew him to have a good heart, his obsession with money made it difficult for him to have friends; yet that never concerned him.

One night over drinks, he confided that he lived in constant fear of waking up one morning to a changed world and all of his money was gone. He explained that he grew up heavily influenced by a grandfather who repeatedly told him stories of the Great Depression and the Holocaust, and that having a lot of money was the only way to be safe if those events, or anything like them, occurred again.

In the context of current events, do we know what forces drive President Trumps persona? A psychologist might explore an enduring need to prove he is bigger and better than his successful father.

From this laymans perspective, it seems that Mr. Trump is driven primarily by an insatiable need for applause, adoration and money. While these forces work well for reality TV stars and real estate developers, I am not alone in wondering whether they are suitable for a president.

I never made it beyond first base with Cindy that summer, but neither did Howard.

Richard Ross resides in Amesbury and mediates business- and real estate-related disputes. http://www.rossmediationservices.com.

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What makes people tick - The Daily News of Newburyport

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