That said, its important to remember that our erotic interests are the product of many factors. On the biological side, those factors can include our genetic predispositions, unique brain chemistry, and the way our bodies are laid out.

For some people, nipples are extraordinarily sensitive, Dr. Lehmiller says. For other people, theres just no sensation whatsoever. And if your body just happens to have that heightened level of sensitivity, you might be very drawn to various forms of nipple play including more intense BDSM versions of it with nipple clamps and so forth. So I think part of it is that general sensitivity in different parts of our body. That could also have a genetic component to it.

Psychological factors such as our personalities, previous experiences, and general attitudes toward sex represent another piece of the puzzle. And there are environmental factors to considerthe cultural context that, in part, determines the partners we choose and the opportunities available to us.

Whenever were talking about sexual interests, we need to talk about it from a biopsychosocial perspective, Dr. Lehmiller says. Two people can develop the same sexual interest for very different reasons, depending on the confluence of all of these factors.

Many people can pinpoint a specific childhood experience as the source of their kink or fetish. For some, it feels like a fact of life from birth. Others find their kinks later in life through solo or partnered exploration. In Dr. Brames experience, younger generations are becoming aware of their kinks earlier in life thanks to the internet. But in some cases, the culture of silence and shame around sexual kinks can delay the discovery process by decades.

You dont necessarily realize who you are until youre in your teens or maybe even your 20s, Dr. Brame says. Or maybe even your 50s, not because its totally out of the blue. But you dont realize what kink is or what it is to be kinky. Or that some of your private sexual fantasies actually align with kink.

Often the kinks emotional and sexual resonance is reinforced through masturbation.

We know that the connection between the smell centers of the brain and the memory centers of the brain and the emotional centers of the brain are very close, Gates says. And so things that we would consider to be classic kinks, like a foot fetishor rubber or leather or things that are sensorially evocative, especially through smellcan become connected with emotional content and memories to form a kind of cycle where you smell it and you have this stimulus in this memory thats very emotional. You might reinforce that through, say, masturbation to the point where it becomes a very firm pathway in your brain.

But Gates believes some people are primed to develop a kink or fetish under the right conditions.

I interviewed this wonderful guy who considered himself a macrophile, Gates says. He liked to fantasize about giant women. And he said, Nature loads the gun and nurture pulls the trigger. I like that metaphor because it sort of explains how that worksthat you can be primed biologically and neurologically to be ready for it to happen.

Dr. Brame feels strongly that kink isnt a hobbyits a legitimate sexual identity. Throughout her life, relationships that didnt align with her kinks would inevitably fail. The kink was never explicitly discussed or cited as the reason for the breakupthat discovery would come later. But in retrospect, it makes sense that certain power dynamics werent tenable for her.

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Are Kinks Hereditary? What Science Says About the Genetics of Desire - Glamour