Dear Mexican: Im reading the redneck rhetoric in your most recent column, and I feel retarded to continually be surprised by the hate guised as nationalism that so easily flows from mouths of these degenerates. At least we don't have to worry about that nice stereotype like the Canadians.

Isn't it possible that no one wants to make taxpayers out of all of the illegals because this would entitle them to minimum wage? I agree that if you're going to enjoy the benefits of this country, you should maintain your culture, but also become a legal American citizen. But can we afford to actually pay full price for the labor foundation that we currently enjoy at such a discount?

-Dr. W

Dear Gabacho: Interesting punto! Gabachos dont want undocumented Mexicans to become American citizens because theyre Mexicans, and they really feel that once we become the majority, well rip out their hearts, wrap them in bacon, and serve them as a breakfast burrito.

And they also want us to remain perpetual peons, even if making us legal brings more money to the American economy. A 2013 paper by the Center for American Progress found that if undocumented immigrants were granted legal status and the possibility of citizenship that year, the United States' gross domestic product would grow by an additional $1.4 trillion cumulatively over the 10 years between 2013 and 2022.

Not only that, but analysts Robert Lynch and Patrick Oakford forecast the creation of 203,000 jobs per year in that time frame with amnesty. On the other hand, if said undocumenteds only got legal status in 2013 but weren't eligible for citizenship for a decade, the GDP would grow by a relatively modest $832 billion.

Thats more of an economic stimulus package than Trump could ever possibly conjure upbut since gabachos hate truth nowadays, the prospect of amnesty long ago went the way of the Paris climate accords.

I've been to a number of Mexican-sponsored events that include the typical banda, those bands with 40 members and every instrument known to man. My question is, why do those grupos bring such enormous speakers?

For a party taking place in a backyard or a room that fits no more than 50, theyll bring speakers large enough for a stadium. And since were on the subject of bandas, why do they have so many friggin people in them anyway?

-Split Eardrums, but Happy

Dear Gabacho: The more speakers any Mexican band use, the angrier gabachos will get. This isnt rocket science, pendejo.

Why is it that if you call anybody from Latin America thats not from Mexico a Mexican, they get mad? But everybody from Latin America calls any white person a gringo, no matter if they are Canadian, English, German, French, etc. It seems to me that Latin Americans want to be called by their country of origin but don't give a crap about a white person's country of origin. Would this be racism or prejudice?

-Gringo Greg

Dear Gabacho: Because a gringo is technically a white foreigner regardless of country. Besides, spare me: You gabachos call us illegals even if our families have lived in Aztln since your ancestors were dying of the Black Death.

More:
What legalization would mean for wages, and the anatomy of a banda. - Monterey County Weekly