Life experiences shape how we see ourselves and how we as a people relate to one another.

In earlier times, those life experiences were similar among those who lived in a certain area or even in a particular country. People rarely traveled any significant distances and spent their lives in the same area among the same people with whom they had much in common. Thus was born the concept of community, though humans being humans, there likely were disagreements. Still, similar experiences led to a common theme, a common purpose, an understanding of one another, a bond.

As they were forming a new country, most Americans in the 19th century traced their roots to northern Europe, with the exception of Africans brought here as slaves, and the culture was mostly agrarian. In 1900, despite the advent of the Industrial Revolution, a majority of Americans still lived in rural areas.

But change was coming. U.S. cities grew by 15 million people from 1880 to 1900 with much of the growth fueled by a massive influx of immigrants. According to the website History.com, some 20 million people came to the United States between 1880 and 1920, most from central, eastern and southern Europe. Included in that group were more than 4 million Italians. The Jewish population also grew dramatically with some 2 million coming in that same time frame, many fleeing religious persecution.

These changes meant people who spoke a different language, practiced a different religion and celebrated different holidays were now a part of the American fabric.

Still, some things stayed the same. Most households included a married couple and a number of children. The men farmed or worked for a paycheck to support the family and the women took care of the children and managed the household. Life expectancy in 1900 was much lower than today, with men living to an average of 43 years and women two years longer. Most of their lives was consumed by raising children.

A notable group of Americans, former African slaves and their offspring, did not benefit from the changes that were lifting much of America to a higher standard of living as the 20th century dawned. Discriminatory laws and practices kept them separate from their fellow Americans and thus they created a culture all their own. They shared a common history and a common reality.

The same was true, to a lesser degree, of many of the immigrant groups that tended to live near one another and shared a life filled with similar experiences. Still, most Americans lived lives that resembled one another.

Keeping a family going was an all-consuming task, but what little leisure time was available was often spent with neighbors and relatives who usually lived nearby and had shared experiences. People ate the same food, read the same newspapers, celebrated the same occasions, followed the same baseball teams and attended the same churches.

With the advent of radio, families would gather around to listen to the same programs. Television had a similar effect on family life and people across the country now were seeing the same programs and news reports. Their view of the larger world was shaped by these shared experiences.

All that seems so quaint today. Families are smaller and far less similar. In 1960, 73% of children lived in a family with a mother and father married for the first time. The Pew Research Center reports that percentage has fallen to 46 today.

At the same time, the information age has brought a wide range of vehicles for communication. Neilsen reports that Americans aged 18 and older spend more than four hours a day watching television and three hours interacting with their smartphones. But with a proliferation of cable television, streaming services and social media, there is no common experience. Newspaper circulation has fallen dramatically in recent years and fewer people are attending religious services.

Diversity can be seen as a good thing. In fact, a Pew Research Center report released last May indicated that 57% of Americans believe a diverse population is a very good thing for the country and another 20% say this is somewhat good.

That is encouraging news, but more than ever America has become a nation of many perspectives born of different life experiences. The challenge comes in finding consensus on issues including how the nation should be governed, what is acceptable human behavior and how thorny issues should be resolved.

Our future as a nation depends on finding common ground on what it means to be American while still honoring the lives, beliefs and traditions of all people.

Kathy Silverberg is former publisher of the Herald-Tribunes southern editions. She can be reached at kathy.silverberg@comcast.net or followed on Twitter @kdsilver.

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Common ground is harder to find, but worth seeking - Sarasota Herald-Tribune