Change is difficult. Many of us are reminded just how challenging it is to break old habits and acquire new ones annually, when we set New Years resolutions; 80% of those who make New Years resolutions fall off the wagon within the first month, while only 8% maintain long-lasting success.
Though it might seem logical to blame failed resolutions on our action (or inaction) eating that unhealthy food we swore off, or not going to the gym when we swore we would creating positive, sustainable change in our lives often has more to do with the invisible thoughts, emotions and environmental triggers driving our behavior.
We might even assume that weve failed to change because we dont have full control of our actions. But if we first invest time in observing and understanding our internal drivers and reactions, we can then use that insight to devise better, tangible steps we can take toward change and build neural pathways that will facilitate the outcomes we desire over the long-term.
As a leadership coach for purpose-driven people and organizations, and as a student of applied neuroscience, Im passionate about helping people understand why they do what they do. Emerging research on brain plasticity shows its possible to essentially rewire our brains to better serve our goals. Here are a few tips to help you ignite this process in the new year and beyond.
Suspend judgment.
When people fail to stick to a resolution, they can beat themselves up pretty harshly. They might say negative things about themselves and after even a short while those self-criticisms start to repeat like a broken record in their minds.
Even though many people mistakenly believe shame can instill motivation, shame actually accomplishes the exact opposite. If we can, instead, look at ourselves objectively enough to observe our reactions, we can formulate strategies to break undesirable behavior patterns, linking new behaviors to old triggers.
Observe your thoughts.
Our thoughts can mimic the experience of driving a car over time, they become so automatic that we dont even realize how we got from Point A to Point B. Learning to notice your thoughts is like exercising a muscle, in that the process becomes easier and more intuitive with repetition.
Jotting down observations as they occur throughout your day can help you establish a clearer picture of the frequency with which you have certain thoughts, and the ratio of positive to negative thoughts you have over time. With greater awareness, you can challenge your automatic thought processes, particularly those negative thoughts wreaking havoc beneath the surface.
Identify triggers.
A thought record can also help you identify the people, places and things that trigger specific thoughts. For example, a negative thought about your appearance might consistently be preceded by looking in the mirror or interacting with a critical acquaintance or colleague.
Identifying triggers can help you better anticipate them and develop coping strategies in environments you cant control. For example, people often think a good strategy for sticking to their weight loss goal is to simply remove all junk food from their homes. But they can run into trouble at work or in a restaurant, where they have less or no control. We cant change people or situations that trigger us, but we can learn to marry a healthier response to a trigger by identifying and learning when to anticipate it.
Make micro goals.
Aristotle said, We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. The more you do something, the better you get at doing it. Instead of tracking your progress toward a goal or resolution with big milestones, try setting micro goals with reward structures that more frequently link action to satisfaction.
Maintaining consistency is all about establishing the right cadence. Instead of resolving to meditate for an hour every day and feeling guilty when you cant, set a micro goal of meditating for ten minutes, twice a week, and celebrate those small victories.
Paint a picture of the future.
The crux of accomplishing any goal is to find the why behind it. You have to be fired up and excited about achieving the desired outcome especially in those moments when you may be frustrated, tired or tempted to take the easy way out. By creating a vision board or any other visual representation of the future you want and keeping it in a place where youll see it often, you can constantly remind yourself of your why.
We tend to decorate our work and living spaces with photographs and memorabilia from the past. While its important to honor our past accomplishments, art and other visuals that are forward-thinking honor where were going.
Curate the company you keep.
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Surrounding yourself with people who are setting and achieving similar goals for themselves can be a huge advantage in achieving your own goals. Consciously selecting those people we want to spend the most time with means we also have to think about the people we might want or need to spend less time with.
This reinforces the importance of being forward-thinking. Many times, we hold on to people from the past, simply because we have a long history with them. But if they arent supportive of who we are becoming, or if they drain some of the vital energy we need to thrive, we may need to recalibrate.
Too often, our resolutions fall by the wayside because we believe we simply dont have the time or energy to put in the necessary work. But we all have the energy we need to succeed. The secret is to determine where your energy is flowing and make a conscious decision to redirect that flow through a new conduit.
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Using Applied Neuroscience To Achieve Goals In 2020 And Beyond - Forbes
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